Tory Farina

Talking Tips...

On Sunday I get the profound privilege of taking words on a page and connect it with people in their everyday life. Helping people see that the Word of God is truly alive and worth our time and attention. I have learned a lot in the last four years of speaking week in week out at High Point. Here are a few of those lessons.

• Change it up... This week I preached narrative. A few weeks ago it was topically. Some weeks it is expository. I will use a great book I read once to preach out of in January and this summer am thinking about preaching through an entire book of the New Testament verse by verse. WHY? People learn in different ways. I get bored with one "style" and have to experiment and test myself. Preaching styles change over the years and If I am locked into 1 "style" then I am in big trouble because then I will not be able to make the cultural shift.
• Find your own Voice... In the beginning I used a lot of other pastors series notes to help me with my talks. I found that I had a hard time breaking out of their ideas, way of talking, grammar and phraseology. I still use peoples material to help me with ideas and content but now it is more of a complement rather than a crutch for my messages. I had to ask the question what makes me unique and note worthy as a communicator. Not in a haughty self serving kind of way, rather in a self discovery kind of way. I am funny it is a trait that I need to get more comfortable and refined in but I have to recognize it as a tool in my tool box in order to truly capitalize on it. I am a good story teller. If I am not telling stories in my talks then I am not going to be communicating at my best. This is huge and took me a long time to get comfortable with my gifts, talents and abilities but has helped me really go to the next level in my speaking.
• Practice makes perfect if you have it in you... Some people just don't have it in them and no matter how much they practice they will never be an amazing public speaker. Others just need time on "stage" to work out the kinks. Help you learn how to handle distractions, low and high crowds, bad material, too much material. The more I have been upfront the more comfortable I have become with myself. All good communication comes from the security of the speaker! When you are secure and confident people relax and trust you.
• Let it all hang out... Almost every week I feel exposed. A little embarrassed. It stems from  me letting it all out and being vulnerable with the people. I shout, cry, laugh, tease, sweat, and share truthfully out of my experience. But it makes it AUTHENTIC and I think that is a powerful element to good communication. I on purpose run along the edge of a cliff and people can feel the tension/ excitement as I do it and when I finish we all (myself included) breath a sigh of relief as we reflect on what just happened. I did this this last Sunday as I created the dramatic tension of a woman sobbing at Jesus feet. I put myself in her shoes and at one point commented about her lost innocence at a young age. Their is no way of knowing if she was actually abused at a young age but I felt the Spirit prompting me to say it in that moment and man it made me feel vulnerable as It splashed into the air and settled into peoples minds. I felt the tension in the air and knew that Because I let it out God was ministering to people.
• Let the Holy Spirit have room... I started scripting my messages so tightly that in the moment if I needed/wanted/ felt lead to add anything on the spot for specific people in the room It would get lost in the mass of material I had brought. Now I have less than 1 page of notes and those are mostly bullet points that lead me in a direction and then I let the Holy Spirit prompt me to say the meat on the bones. It feels a little strange at first to get up their without having it 100% figured out yet but I preach less and feel the quality has gone up significantly. I will often search my heart and mind for a message for that moment in that service. 1st service I felt I needed to emphasis the work of the Holy Spirit to draw people to Jesus. 2nd service I didn't feel it the same way but I found out later that someone 1st service needed to hear that.  
• Learn from the best... I learned how to preach from the TV show E.R. My dad and I would watch the show all growing up and he would say, "Son watch what they are doing... notice the tension... they have you laughing in one moment and the next moment someone is dying." I read books, listen to story tellers and preachers and listen to where do they pause, laugh, cry and why do they do it that way. It all helps me when I am preaching to communicate the message of the passage I am teaching to come alive. Jesus told amazing stories and It is my mandate to fallow his lead. 
• Prep... Prep a ton personally... prep a little corporately. I used to spend 40 or more hours a week on my talk. Based on mu gifts and abilities that was overkill!!! Now I am prepping about 8-10 hours a week. I can say more in 25 minutes than a person can do all week so it is not the quantity of prep that matters it is the quality of the message I am communicating. I have found that when I prepped more for a message I substituted my corporate study for my personal enrichment. Then i had all this amazing insight that was to deep or not fully baked for Sunday Consumption. Now I am prepping more for me. Letting the Holy Spirit work a thought or idea or word through me. I am able to let my mind have space to hear from God. I think my speaking has gotten better because of it. I know my depth as a person/pastor has grown.

I take my role as lead communicator very very seriously. I love what I get to do and really enjoy seeing people come alive as I they respond to the living word of God every week.

My Thread...

I wanted to share with you a meeting of fellow pastors and church planters that I get with once a month online. Matt Keller leads the discussion and then we get down and dirty into what we are dealing with. It is a powerful time of encouragement and challenge. Here is a picture of it in a action.

 

Tory Farina, Matt Keller, Barry Rice, Dan Stauffer, Andrew Fortner, John Youell, Darian Raines 

We all have a funny look on our face! Captions are welcome!

What would you say...

Over the next few days thousands of Young innovative and creative leaders from around the nation are coming together in Atlanta to talk about leadership and church ministry. I love this stuff. Check it out here...

One day I will go and check it out myself. I have never been but hear good things. 

Can I confess something to you kind of embarrassing but one that has challenged me? don't laugh. Sometimes, when I allow myself to, I wonder what it would be like to share on the maine stage of Catalyst. I know, call me vain, prideful, silly, or just plain nuts but I do not think I am alone in wondering what it would be like. When I stop dreaming about the lights and the sound and the energy in the room I ask myself the question that matters. 

What would I say? What message I would share to thousands of people that would inspire, challenge, transform, empower, shift the dialog, or move people to action. What would I share? What do I have to offer? This is a fun question to ask.  This is a challenging question to ask. If you had 1 message to give what would it be? 

This is a question we all need to be ready to have. This should be our life message. It should be our default message. It should be the thing that we most think about, dream about, wrestle with, It should be the thing that will take our whole life to perfect. What is your life message? 

I'd Say that!

So what is yours? 

Mine... Live Your Potential! 

But, I'll share more later...  

So whats yours? - can you boil it down to fit on a bumper sticker?

Pain = Growth...

I watched the nines last week and was floored by Sam Chand's 9 minutes. Here are a few notes of what he said. Here is the video. It rocked my world and has continued to challenge me in so many ways.It helps me to Justify the pain I have experienced and makes me wonder what I am about to go through to reach the place God has for me.

Growth = pain

There is no change without pain... loss...

You will only grow to the threshold of your pain...

3:32	You are hurting, that’s not all bad.
3:32	Don’t assume you are always at 100%. If you are at 70% or less don’t make a key decision that day.
3:32	Hang with people who have a high pain threshold. Assume High impact leaders have high pain.
3:32	Reflect on your pain.
3:32	How to do that:
3:30	View pain as a teacher. Don’t drug it. Don’t have leadership leprosy.
3:30	Growth = Pain
3:30	(New book coming out soon Toxiculture – I have seen early chapters and it will be great)
3:29	Pain is that area that allows you to grow.
3:29	What’s the difference between leaders of small ministries and large ministries? Pain threshold.

Create...

I love reading and hearing about people who create great things out of nothing. Ben Arment is a good example of this type of person, read blog post here... not because he fasted football, but because he is doing what it takes to accomplish something. I love talking with guys like Paul Stewart, Matthew Keller, Rob Ketterling, and other church planters. I can’t get enough of magazines like Fast Company and am being so inspired by the biography of Walt Disney I am reading currently. These people are radicals and rebels, and they don’t take no for an answer.

It juices me up to read Genesis 1 and see that in the beginning there was nothing that we see today, but God spoke something into existence out of that nothing. I could read the creation story again and again, because it is a part of me. I love to see creation happen. Give me a show on public television about how to make glass, and I am hooked.

I believe that God desires that we follow his lead and invent, create, and dream about what isn’t and what could be or should be. So many people I meet get stuck in what is and what has to be, yet neglect the inner calling to create or be apart of something that is being built. They fear the unknown. They don't know where to start or who to connect with that has a big enough vision that aligns with their own. Part of my calling is to help people discover their God-given potential and to either be a part of their creation or to create what God has uniquely called them to create! I love talk about making it happen, and I love to see it happen. I want to do everything I can to empower people to speak into the abyss of nothing and call forth what they see!

What has God placed in your heart? What great thing is not because you haven’t created it yet? Art, writing, children, churches, and businesses all are wonderful things to create. What will it take to see it happen? What do you need to sacrifice in order to make it so?

GO! CREATE!

Do you See what I See?...

I have spent the last few months talking and interviewing with people about helping High Point Church get to the next level. It is kind of funny for me because I live in a reality that doesn't exist. People come and see High Point and they see what is. They look around and see the kids that are their and see what the set looks like and they will see who is volunteering and they see all that we are. The funny thing when I talk with them is that I don't see that. I know that sounds so strange but it is true.

When I see High Point I don't see what is because what is has never been my reality. When it was Elizabeth and I and we had no graphics, no Courtney, no Theatre and not even a name I saw a picture that looked similar to what we have now 3.5 yrs later. I would talk to people all the time like we had a church of a couple hundred with a staff and awesome worship and engaging connection groups. People who could see what I saw jumped on board. People who couldn't see it... never called me back. That was years ago but it hasn't changed for me. Every time I walk into High Point now I see what Could Be and what Should Be.

Do you want to see what I see?

I see a section of Youth that worships God with all of their heart in the front of the church. I see two services that are full to the gills with people and we have to have to ask regular attenders to give up their seat for new visitors. I see connection groups all over this city full of people who are growing in their relationship with God. I see us in a building that gives us ample room for our Kids to be transformed with as much room as they need. I see Lost people found. Depressed people set free. Broken Homes restored. Floundering people Living Their Potential!

Do you See what I See? We are on the verge of the next level of High Point Church. We are about to go to the preferred future that I SEE. Can you see it? As I have talked with a bunch of people these last few months most haven't seen it. But the ones that have... OHHHBOOOOYYY! They are going to see God do something Great in this place for this City! We are going to see an amazing future at High Point. What I See, I am convinced is just around the corner.

Challange...

(WARNING- This is a long post... This is a heartfelt post... Do not read if you want to get stronger! DO not read if you are weak, stiff necked or are insecure... Be cautious how you implement but please implement these thoughts.)

I have been processing church planting and what it takes lately. I ran into a friend, business owner/starter, turned pastor, the other day. Four years ago told me something that has stuck. He said...

"entrepreneurs (that is what a church planter is) live with three false realities. They basically live deceived in three ways. 1) the always think it will be easier than it is. 2) More profitable than it is. 3) The competition is stupider than he truly is. But in the failing and frustration you rework your plan and out of the ashes of failed expectation you either come up with something that works or fold."

Life was meant to be lived with challenges. Life was meant to be lived on the edge. Look at Adam in the Garden and you see evidence of a man who traversed the great wilderness of EDEN studying animals and talking to God about what he saw. (Seems pretty Awesome to me!) Think of What Jesus did on the Cross. (That took some serious stuff to fallow through. His humanity was screaming through the entire ordeal.

I think sometimes in the church world we lack the stones Honesty heart to challenge people before they jump out into the great unknown of what they "feel" called to do. So we say with a smile and a pat on the back... "Go for it... and think we have done the person a favor." Callings need confirmation and clarification.

Confirmation- Does what you feel in your heart match with what you have the aptitude for, have the fortitude for and have a positive track record for. If you want to plant a church/ start a restaurant/ get our masters degree but have never started anything from scratch successfully then this is not the thing to "TRY IT OUT WITH".

For example- I always wanted to be a rock star... I cant remember lyrics... chords... have horrible rhythm and look really bad in spandex... But I can speak simple truths to people that resonate with them. I have a track record from childhood of public speaking, leading, presenting. My school groups had a writer, an editor, a clown and a presenter... which do you think I always was? (HINT- not the editor or writer.) So I saw that ability and paired it with my love and compassion with people, my heart for Gods word and my passion to see church make sense to people.... BAM! Ministry was for me.

Do you have outward confirmation?

Clarification- So they have the aptitude and track record to support the calling Lets refine it a bit. This is where it gets hard to be honest with people. I had a person recently come to me and tell me they wanted to start a church and then they told me their plan and I was thinking... You do not fit that Demographic. It was like a 5' 4" man telling me I want to be a basketball player for the T-Wolves. (he may get the job based on last year) I am not a small town guy I would not fit in a rural setting. The problem lies in not challenging the person to clarify their calling. We set them up for frustration, failure and feelings of unsatisfaction. How can you be satisfied doing what your called to do? A misguided calling is a missed calling!

Have you had our calling Clarified?

My Buddy Peter Haas always asks... "Is their inward calling confirmed by their outward calling." If they want to be the next Billy Graham... How do they speak publicly? Are they winning people to Jesus with out the mic in their hands? If not then your calling probably is general and you need to find some aspect of it that matches your Confirmation.

Are you willing to challenge those of your loved ones, friends and peers to see if their calling is legit? (2 legit 2 quit) Let me give you 3 examples...

1) A guy, who I love deeply, decided he wanted ot leave the church because I told him not to do something that was potentially destructive. I told him, "that's crazy talk... just because you do not agree doesn't mean we cant stay in community... I challenge you in this because I care." He stayed.

2) A Friend fro college called and told me an idea he and his wife had about leaving "full time ministry". I told him, "You better know this is GOD... It sounds like you are getting very far away from what God has previously doe in your life and what your outward calling is confirming. Then I said I think you are confused because of these few areas of hurt in  your life." I am not sure what the outcome will be but I cared so much i had to challenge the process for Him...

3) E and I were were 25/26 years old and knew that we knew we were going to plant a church in the Twin Cities... We just didn't know how or when. We thought it would have been later in life but the challenge we got during this time confirmed te timing for us. I remember it like it was yesterday... I got on the phone with Billy Hornsby (Pres. of the ARC) and he scared the crap out of me Challenged me. It was hard to hear. Their were things he called out in me and E that I knew needed to be refined. I hung up took a deep breath and with tears streaming down my face went upstairs and told my Honey...

"I don't think we have it but I feel the calling is true and right and now... Lets give it everything  we have and if Billy and The ARC say its not the time... then we will know. But we will give everything we have."

We gave it all... more than we thought we could or would give. Something in us changed or came alive. The challenge saved us from a half baked idea destroying our lives and future ministry. In the End we did it! We were a success. Billy Hornsby, Rob Ketterling, Matt Keller, Elizabeth Farina, Sam Farina, Darin Poli, Peter Haas and so many more have challenged my callings on many occasions and will continue to... They Make me STRONG!

Unless we challenge the process of those we love we allow people the dive into a pool without water. Lets say we are wrong lets say they go and do what we thought prayerfully about and challenged them with. Then we are stronger and so are they. Lets say we challenge them and they realize we are at least partially right... WOW! we have saved them from a world of HURT! Let say the friendship is hurt... At least we have done and said what we have needed and it is up to the Lord from Their...

Confront in grace and love and much MUCH prayer... Love deeply... It is for them not for you

The F generation...

I came across this article By Gary Hamel Talking about 12 observations from the facebook generation. I find it fascinating. I think I am on the tail end of this but man do these concepts fit into the way I think. Olivia will grow up immersed in this connected "Facebook" life and their is no way she will not be forever changed by it. The fallowing are a list of 12 characteristics of on-line life.

The interesting thing about all of these is I think the church is uniquely situated to maximize these concepts. Unlike a traditional business model the church is made up of people who choose to participate, are motivated by things other than money and through Connection groups can choose how they connect and live in community.

1. All ideas compete on an equal footing. On the Web, every idea has the chance to gain a following—or not, and no one has the power to kill off a subversive idea or squelch an embarrassing debate. Ideas gain traction based on their perceived merits, rather than on the political power of their sponsors.

2. Contribution counts for more than credentials. When you post a video to YouTube, no one asks you if you went to film school. When you write a blog, no one cares whether you have a journalism degree. Position, title, and academic degrees—none of the usual status differentiators carry much weight on-line. On the Web, what counts is not your resume, but what you can contribute.

3. Hierarchies are natural, not prescribed. In any Web forum there are some individuals who command more respect and attention than others—and have more influence as a consequence. Critically, though, these individuals haven’t been appointed by some superior authority. Instead, their clout reflects the freely given approbation of their peers. On the Web, authority trickles up, not down.

4. Leaders serve rather than preside. On the Web, every leader is a servant leader; no one has the power to command or sanction. Credible arguments, demonstrated expertise and selfless behavior are the only levers for getting things done through other people. Forget this on-line, and your followers will soon abandon you.

5. Tasks are chosen, not assigned. The Web is an opt-in economy. Whether contributing to a blog, working on an open source project, or sharing advice in a forum, people choose to work on the things that interest them. Everyone is an independent contractor, and everyone scratches their own itch.

6. Groups are self-defining and -organizing. On the Web, you get to choose your compatriots. In any on-line community, you have the freedom to link up with some individuals and ignore the rest, to share deeply with some folks and not at all with others. Just as no one can assign you a boring task, no can force you to work with dim-witted colleagues.

7. Resources get attracted, not allocated. In large organizations, resources get allocated top-down, in a politicized, Soviet-style budget wrangle. On the Web, human effort flows towards ideas and projects that are attractive (and fun), and away from those that aren’t. In this sense, the Web is a market economy where millions of individuals get to decide, moment by moment, how to spend the precious currency of their time and attention.

8. Power comes from sharing information, not hoarding it. The Web is also a gift economy. To gain influence and status, you have to give away your expertise and content. And you must do it quickly; if you don’t, someone else will beat you to the punch—and garner the credit that might have been yours. On-line, there are a lot of incentives to share, and few incentives to hoard.

9. Opinions compound and decisions are peer-reviewed. On the Internet, truly smart ideas rapidly gain a following no matter how disruptive they may be. The Web is a near-perfect medium for aggregating the wisdom of the crowd—whether in formally organized opinion markets or in casual discussion groups. And once aggregated, the voice of the masses can be used as a battering ram to challenge the entrenched interests of institutions in the offline world.

10. Users can veto most policy decisions. As many Internet moguls have learned to their sorrow, on-line users are opinionated and vociferous—and will quickly attack any decision or policy change that seems contrary to the community’s interests. The only way to keep users loyal is to give them a substantial say in key decisions. You may have built the community, but the users really own it.

11. Intrinsic rewards matter most. The web is a testament to the power of intrinsic rewards. Think of all the articles contributed to Wikipedia, all the open source software created, all the advice freely given—add up the hours of volunteer time and it’s obvious that human beings will give generously of themselves when they’re given the chance to contribute to something they actually care about. Money’s great, but so is recognition and the joy of accomplishment.

12. Hackers are heroes. Large organizations tend to make life uncomfortable for activists and rabble-rousers—however constructive they may be. In contrast, on-line communities frequently embrace those with strong anti-authoritarian views. On the Web, muckraking malcontents are frequently celebrated as champions of the Internet’s democratic values—particularly if they’ve managed to hack a piece of code that has been interfering with what others regard as their inalienable digital rights.

The most insightful to me are... 2, 3, 11, 12. Which ones resonate with you? What does it do to your workplace, home, church if these do become more prevalent with the next generation?

Greatness pt. 1...

I meet with a life coach every week. I do it for a number of reasons but the main one is because a few years back I started to feel like I needed a professional to help me see my holes, my areas of opportunity and help me navigate through those areas so I could reach my potential. I have found it helpful to invite a "Samuel, Nathan or other Daniel" into your life to help you see what you can not see on your own.

Last week he said this to me...
"Great people  have to manage their insecurities and learn how to deal with uncertainty... All great people deal with these two issues. People who do not deal with these issues are not called to be great people. They are probably good people just not given bigger than life dreams, goals and vision."

WOW! I deal with both those issues. I thought something was wrong with me for a while. I figured brilliant great people do not have insecurity or feel fear when they face uncertainty. Isn't that why they are great? I was wrong. As a matter of fact the greater you are the more these monsters besiege you. That is so comforting. So amazingly comforting to know that deep down inside the great men and women, who I look at with eyes of admiration, are dealing with varying forms of these two issues.

Do you feel insecure sometimes? Like you do not have what it takes to do what God has called you to do? Do you feel a little fear and trepidation when looking into the dark abyss of the unknown. If you do you are in good company. begin to think about all the great people in times past who faced these monsters in their life and overcame them and then went on to GREATNESS. Think of the biblical characters who dealt with these issues.

I would love for you to comment the biblical characters who you think dealt with these issues under the next few days I am going to take on each of these monsters and talk about it from a biblical perspective and a small man with a BIG dreams perspective.

I am not Great Yet... But I want to pursue the Potential God placed within me. I feel called to draw out your potential and your Greatness. Someday when we are old and Grey haired we will look back on these days as the days when we stepped out of mediocrity and into GREATNESS. Face the uncertainty, Face the Insecurity and let the Holy Spirit fill your sail.

Step up and Lead...

Here is a message snippet for this Sunday. I am talking about the David and Goliath moment. When no one would step up and fight Goliath but David. Often we find ourselves in a place were their is an absence of leadership. David stepped up because he was called to lead at the next level. What do you do when their is an absence of leadership?

Here are my thoughts on the different Leadership levels. I am convinced that not everyone is called to lead at every level but we are all called to lead at the basic couple of levels. The challenge is to find out where you fit and not move beyond or live below your level.

Level 1- LEAD Yourself...
Everyone is called to Lead at this level. One of the fruits of the Spirit is Self Control. In America studies are showing that men re delaying their maturity until after 30. This is the first level of leadership. Everyone is called to this level. If you can not lead yourself then you should not start a family, have a team under you or be responsible for much.

We can all grow in our personal Leadership. I am often tweaking my personal study habits, prayer life, fasting life, time management. this is apart of living out your potential. It is important to ask the Lord often where you are at in your personal Leadership. People who stop growing here are headed for a crash.

Level 2- Lead Others...
You may not be called to lead 3m or a the T-Wolves (even thought they are in need of one) but if you have a family, a work team, an entourage you are called to the ext level. You have  a responsibility to lead them well. To lead them into a better future. Your challenge needs to be to draw out their best in order to achieve their God given potential. Part of doing this is being aware that you are leading them. The other side of this is looking for ways to lovingly challenge them. Most of you are called to this but not all.

Level 3- Lead Leaders...
Even fewer of you are called to this level. This is a great place to live. You have people who are living in your down draft who are watching you lead and learning how to lead their group based on how you lead. This is a level many pastors are at. This is the level that deacons of High point are at. You are called to this level if you find yourself being asked by other people how and why you do what you do. You are called to this level if you have find success in leading others and have more and more groups of others underneath you leadership wake.

Level 4- Lead Movements...
A few people are called to this. It almost never happens because they are trying to make it happen rather it happens because they have so many leaders fallowing them that when they move a shift happens down the pipeline. On a large scale these people would include, Martin Luther King, Dave Ramsey, Bill Hybels, Billy Graham just to name a few. These also include people at your work who have a knack for influencing fashion trends, social trends and cultural shifts.

What are you called to Lead? Which leader are you called to fallow? We are all meant to live under authority. It is what keeps us grounded. Lone Rangers are dangerous often they hand out dixie cups full of funny tasting kool aid. Is your leader worth fallowing? Is your leader fallowing good leaders?

Give me your thoughts on this.