Tory Farina

Welcome Lewis...

Last night at 1:37am Lewis Gideon Farina was born.
Elizabeth was amazing! Here is what happened.
Elizabeth and Olivia both had the stumach flu/virus this weekend. I was pretty confadent last night that I was going to get it. Truth be told I was fighting something sinister in my bowels. We crashed early thinking at any moment I would be awoken to the harsh realities of the last man standing.
At 12:03 Elizabeth woke me up and said "I think I'm going into labor." After a couple minutes I snapped out of my fog and we went into action.
Thanks iPhone for a smashing good tinned app!!!!
She was contracting at about 60-75 seconds with a 3-4 minute interlude. It was time to get into action. Fallowing me three directives, Elizabeth previously gave me, I promptly jumped in the shower, resisted the urge to eat anything and choose a hoody and t-shirt combo that allowed for the quick removal and anti sweet properties.
We got to the hospital and before they could check us in Elizabeth was feeling a lot of pressure and when they checked she was at 7cm. The Dr. Was still at home and wa paged but within minutes her water broke. Elizabeths body went into overdrive and without pushing once his head started to crown. At 1:37am a Dr. Was grabbed from another room and cought him just in time.
It was fast from start of labor to finish.
I spent some time thanking Jesus this morning. I thought for sure I was going to be a widower after all the complications Elizabeth has had.
Thank you for your prayers. God is so faithful and is truly the giver of all thing good. Lewis is a good gift!

(produced on my iPhone forgive the spelling please.)

Blog posted here.

Thats not my name...

Our man child will be born at the end of the month. The hardest thing for us right now is picking a name for him. You need something that fits a baby, little kid and still sounds tough for when he is at football practice. We are looking for something a bit out of the ordinary but still classic and had settled into one that we both felt pretty good about. It had a good nick name, and was a solid choice for the rest of his life. We were ready.

UNTIL...

We were at the KIDS KUTS hair salon getting Olivia beautified and from across the room a lady yelled the name that we almost placed on our child. Elizabeth and I both cringed. It was the strangest moment to hear a name that you have been using for weeks in casual conversation and suddenly be revolted turned off by the sound. It didn't help that the kid screamed all the way through his hair cut.

In that moment we made a decision, our son will not have that name.

Anything like that ever happen to you?

Here is a little music in honor of naming a child.

(None of these names are our son's... I just thought the song fit the topic:)

ER Musings...

Its Monday and I am sitting in the ER with Elizabeth again. What a goofy way to spend your day off.

This is our 5th visit since she has become pregnant. They are just making sure things are ok. She has been having shortness of breath and after having two previous blood clots, they do not want to mess around.

I am learning a lot about what it means to love someone. When they hurt you hurt. When they are scared it scares you. It doesn't matter who was right or wrong in the heated discusion you may have had earlier in the day. When your sitting in a windowless ER you just want to climb up on the bed and hold one another.

Worry is a funny thing. The 1st ER visit I carried a lot of the heavy load of worry. Each test Elizabeth undergoes has tought me that I can not carry the load of worry. I can not Carry the million worst case scenarios. If I can't direclty fix it... Which is most things in an ER... Then I need to give it to someone who can & trust. I am raliZing though this what it means to leave it in Gods hands. I like to pick it up out of His hands and carry it around like a book bag full of rocks. Jesus is teaching me how to let him hold it. It's hard fir me but the only way to stay sane.

Love is not fully realized untill you are faced with the harsh reality that you may be only a short breath away from never expressing it in the person you loves presence again. I think everyone should experience the smell of death if nothing more than to flush out your deep rarely spoken heart for that person and your relationship. While Elizabeth ends the day ok each night I have found myself telling her my heart more, holding her tighter, dwelling in her presence longer and not wanting to be away from her more than I need to be.

Talking about a life apart has actually drawn us closer. Love must be like a grape vine... Producing it's best fruit when grown under stress. Maybe it only works for relationships built on a good foundation. It has exposed some cracks but those are easier to fix when time is of the essence.

I hope you never find yourself in an ER awaiting an echo cardiagram. I pray you live long and happy lives treasuring the one you love. I hope and pray I do as well. But I do hope that the realization of how short this life actually is sets in. Love deeply, hold lovingly and never let a moment of heated conversation linger and fester.

The reports came back normal and Elizabeth and I are going home tired and feeling that icky hospital feel. But we are alive... More so than when we went in this morning. Our love has grown and our awareness of our need for one another has become clearer.

How would your relationship weather an ER visit? Let the love of your life know before you are sitting & waiting for test results to be revealed.

Just some thoughts from the ER I tapped out on my iPhone while we waited.

My 3 Rules for Child Birth...

Elizabeth informed me of the three cardinal rules of Childbirth that she expects me to fallow.

1. Brush Your Teeth
2. Wear appropriate attire so you do not sweet
3. No snacking after the water has broken

If I follow these rules we should do just fine.
 

Vow Resources...

Its important to have tools to make your journey in marriage and relationships better. Here is a great list of helps. Be intentional about your relationship and it will pay of Huge dividends.

Resources

Good Books You Can Read Together

Making Love Last Forever by Gary Smalley

        The Love-for-life Factor – How to Fall in Love with Life

            Forever-Love Principles – How to Stay in Love with Your Spouse 

Loves Tug of War…Partnership Beyond The Power Struggle By David and Jan Congo

        The Assassination of Love

            The Actions of Love

            The Attitude of Love

The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason

        Otherness

            Love

            Intimacy

            Vows

            Sex 

Men and Women…Enjoying The Difference by Dr. Larry Crabb

        Why Relationships Don’t Work:  The Problem Men and Women Share

            How Relationships Do Work:  The Difference Men and Women Can Enjoy

Intimate Allies by Allender and Longman

        Who Are We as Husbands and Wives?

            What Are Our Roles as Husbands and Wives?

            How Will We Work Together as Husbands and Wives?

            How Do We Experience the Deepest, Most Profound Intimacy of Body and Soul?

            How Do We, Two Sinners, Learn to Live with Each Other? 

Heirs Together by Patricia Gundry

        What is Marriage?

            Is There a Divine Order for Marriage?

            Helps for Understanding Bible Passages on Marriage

            The First Marriage …

Sheet Music…Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage  by Dr. Kevin Leman

        A Crowded Bed

            Shake, Rattle and Roll!  Why a Good Sex Life Is Worth Striving For

            Learning to Make Music:  The First Night and Beyond

            A Very Special Connection:  Sexual Positions…

Body and Soul…A Married Couple’s Guide to Discovering and Understanding Our Unique Sexual Personalities by Duane Storey & Sanford Kulkin

        Restoring Eden

            What is Good Communication?

            Discovering Your Personality Type

            The Dominant Director

Intended for Pleasure by Ed and Gaye Wheat

        A classic that has been around for over 30 years. All of our Pre-marriage couples read this.

Intimate Issues … Conversations Woman to Woman by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus

            What Does God Think About Sex?

            How can I Be Godly and Sensuous?

            I’m Attracted to Another Man!  Help?

            What’s Not Okay in Bed?

Holy Sexuality by Becky Patton (Focuses on Women)

        This is a four CD set …available at www.truessence.net

            Rethinking Brain Patterns

            Male and Female:  Designer Genes

            Marriage Bed:  Pleasure or Procreation

            Hindrances and the Big O.

Family Therapists – There are many remarkable therapists in the Twin Cities. Only one clinic is listed because of their multiple locations and large staff which can reduce the wait to see a counselor.

Nystrom and Associates- 651-628-9566     www.nystromcounseling.com

• New Brighton
• Eden Prairie
• Apple Valley
• Elk River/Ostego
• Brainerd
• Duluth

*Always set up an initial appointment where you can meet with the therapist and essentially interview them.  If you are going as a couple it is important that BOTH of you feel comfortable with your choice.  When you both agree then commit to the process.  You both agreed!

Daddy You where that?!!!...

My daughter Olivia this weekend got a taste of figure skating. As we were watching this weekend she looked at one of the guys outfits and said... "Daddy You were that?!!!" She was very insistent that I get this outfit and wear it. After thinking about it some more, I think I could pull it off. What do you think?

Marraige Q&A...

What would you ask a professional about marriage? If nothing were of limits. If things were good, bad or ugly what might help you refocus?

Marriage was meant to be the most powerful relationship we have on earth. It is a partnership between two who are completely committed to a common life's goal. Or at least in its perfect state it should be. Our culture gives us different definitions and understandings of marriage. So it is important as a church and community to talk about how to Find "The ONE", Strengthen the Bond and Live on mission with one another.

"The Vow" Starts Sunday. I invited a professional to come and talk with us about his experience on the Subject. (You are not going to want to miss it.) At the end of our time together He is going to answer questions you might have. Then we will have him at our Valentine banquet and I'll share the next two weeks in our series.

Ask anything? Something about sex? Maybe about being empty nesters? What happens when the "LOVE" Fades? How do you fix things when the other person isn't interested?  How do I confront my mate about my suspicion of cheating? Maybe you want to ask about starting over again? Or about healing from an abusive or hurtful relationship?

The Goal is to deal with whatever is on your mind. Here is how this is done... You can email, facebook, Leave a comment, or send a text starting now through the end of service to 612.293.6756. We will expand on the subjects and themes you bring up over the next three weeks, via, Sunday Morning and here on the blog.

Whats on your mind about marriage?

My Dad...

I love my Dad! And I love this picture of him. It captures his personality and maturity. Check it out.

Secret Service...

I got an email today that simply said this... "I told Elizabeth I would take this sickness for her if I could and have been praying for her frequently ever since."

What a statement!!!

I was shocked and moved nearly to tears. The image of a president or dignitary popped into my head. We do not deserve this. Thank you for your prayers through this season we are in! It means a great deal to Elizabeth and I that you all would have our back in such a way. We feel stronger and more confident knowing that you are supporting us in prayer!

Elizabeth is pregnant and we are so excited that she is having another baby but she has been extremely sick. Last week we spent a couple days in the hospital and E.R. with complications. The baby is fine:) The little person is swimming without a care in the world. Elizabeth on the other hand is not swimming around fine.

Here are some ways you can specifically pray...

• Elizabeth isn't eating much so pray that things sound good and she can keep it down.
• That her picc line doesn't get infected.
• That she would stay encouraged. Feeling Sick for so long plays with your emotional well being. She is sick and tired of feeling sick and tired all the time.
• Gods protection over our family.
  
• She needs to now get a root canal. Pray that the Lord heals it so she doesn't have to deal with it.

Thank you for your support during this time. Elizabeth and I are ever grateful!

This Doesnt Have to be...

I just saw this video...

And it made me think about how we treat the ones we hold most dearly to our heart. It made me think about some friends I have who are going through a nasty divorce right now.

It made me think about how for many this is the reality of their marriage... what it doesn't show is the stray bullets hitting those around them. The kids, the neighbors, the other family members. So often married couples zero in on their own fight and try and win but in the end...

No one really wins... This doesn't have to be...

Gods ideal looks like this...

Ephesians 5:21-33 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.