My Undisciplined Life

I have been thinking a lot about what it costs to serve the Lord. I started running for our connection group about a week and a half ago. I do it because I feel like God told me that I am holding myself back from what God wants in my life. So I am running and as I run I sense the lord’s favor on me. It is an amazing thing to worship the Lord with the pounding of my feet on the pavement. But He asks a lot of us.

I have been thinking about other things in my life and wondering if I could give those to the Lord. I am about to have a child soon. What if my wife were to die in child birth; could I give her to God and be alone? This child is she mine or am I just a custodian of her for the Lord? I ask these questions and test my answers. I have had to work through some of them because sometimes I realize I am selfish and not fully surrendered. I don’t want to live that way.

My life is not my own. I have willingly surrendered it to the Lord. The small pleasures I indulge in are ultimately up to the Lord weather he wants me to continue. My time, my appetite and my everything it is the Lords. My new vehicle, how could I hold on to something that is on the slow slope to a trash heap?

But why do we live like it is all ours and God can have the leftovers? Why do people make such poor decisions with there time, energy and life? Why don’t more people live there lives abandoned to the will of the father? There is security and joy and fulfillment like none other when our lives are offered over to the cause of Christ.

Everything is different from that perspective. If I am living for the lord than what door will not be opened? What resource will I lack? Nothing will keep me from Gods best except me. If I stop being surrendered then I mess with Gods best. So I understand Paul’s daily beating of himself in order to stay surrendered to the Lord. For me I am reminded of it when my feet slap in there rhythmic cadence the cement beneath my shoes.

God, this is for you!