Tory Farina

Different

I love my family! After spending concentrated time with both sets of in-laws it is confirmed that they are the best we could ask for.

Have you ever noticed how different you have become? I mean, you came from there home. You learned how to live life according to there set of rules but the longer you are out of their charge the more divergent you become from them. Think about the simple things like… Laundry, cleanliness or TV viewing habits. This is wear things get sketchy because it isn’t that they do things wrong. They are not wrong and you are not wrong. They just do it different than you.

Now I laugh because I wonder what they think about our differences. When they are so used to certain things in there house then come to yours and everything is off and you are telling them to change their habits in a frustrated tone.

But we came from these people. Both sides… I am not making fun or venting frustration. I just realized how we have grown into our own set of strange behaviors that they must find different. How amusing to think that the world is full of people who process and achieve the same goals but all of us do it strangely to someone else. Sometimes I think about my parents and my wife’s parents and I laugh because we are so relationally close yet so different in the way we approach living life.

Someday my kid is going to think I do things the best way. Until they get married and then they will think I am different.

I love you Mom and Dad and Mike and Mona! You guys sharpen us… I hope one day to sharpen my kids with as much wisdom as you carry. Thank you for making E and I what we are today.

more to come

Crazy week... much more to come.

• meeting with Dan Betser
• got Ordained
• God dealt with me about our leadership conversation
• I am so fired up about what God is about to do...

There will have to be more later we are having a busy family week.

Church Planters Fellowship

I was just in a meeting of about 33 church planters from MN. It was a great meeting. I love to hang with these people. They are the innovators and the people on the front line of what God is doing in the church world. I get stoked about the raw potential that makes up a church planter.

they are the fuel that drives church growth in the Kingdom of God. The reason that is is because they have to face all sorts of obstacles with very little resource. You want to know how to do something ask a church planter they have to come up with ideas with little time and little money. I love church planters. Part of that is because I is one!

We have a passion for church planting! we want to plant another church or campus withing the next 3-4 years. God probably has already placed that planter in our community. God loves to plant churches because they reach more people for Him than traditional or older churches. That is a fact.

leadership

So I posted yesterday about how my dog training is helping me discover how to encourage others and lead more effectively.

Let me be real honest and then maybe you can help me work this out. I feel as a 26 year old church planter and lead pastor that i am a bad leader. "Bad may be to harsh" but inexperienced leader. I think that all leaders make mistakes like crazy there first time at the helm. Youth pastors make them and there youth groups of 30-100 are effected little compared to a main church. I was never a youth pastor. In some ways i feel like I skipped steps. On the other hand i know that God called me and that my path was intentional and not the normal way. We wanted to plant later in life but it was like a cosmic magnet drawing us to this place and time... God is amazing like that. So here is my dilemma.

I am a 26 year old newbie who has seen amazing growth in the two years we have been working on this. From 2-150 (last week). But i am frustrated with myself when i make mistakes or hurt others or frustrate my team or don't know what to do. My wife told me today as I was in my pitty party cave... Doesn't that sound like God? You are out of your natural ability and doesn't that seem to lend to Him giving you what you lack? and Isn't that what growth is all about? then she laid out something she does periodical that really bakes my beans... in a good way.

"Who are your peers?" she asks and before i can respond she says Craig Groschel is not you Peer, Rob Ketterling is not your peer, who is your peer?

I don't know... I guess I don't really have any peers in this game of Church planting. Who plants a church with relatively no experience and who is 26 years old? as you can tell there can be room for some insecurity but God has taken me thus far. Right?

Here is my problem... i have an amazing desire to be in control. I want to control things that are amazingly out of my control and it drives me crazy. So... When i give it up to God i am so much more at Peace. when I let my team do there thing and not feel the need to micromanage or control every step then i am at peace and they are more satisfied.

So what have I learned, you ask. I have learned that I am not perfect yet. and that it is OK to make mistakes and that I am going to be an awesome leader in 5-10 years. But that what God has done is truly to his credit because I am not the one to Praise. Finally I learned that my wife is amazing and I need to buy her flowers or something.

So back to the school of Life Leadership 101.

dog training, Parenting and Leadership

So I got a Dog...

She is great except she doesn't come pretrained. She is raw and with a number of bad habits and quirks.

She is teaching me so much about how to deal with people. No one comes pretrained. I thought they did for some reason. I thought you just tell people what you want and they will come back to you with it done better than you could do it. I know a little Naive. But you have to understand. E and I started this church with are bare hands everything we did we had to learn the hard way... We had to grow up fast or we failed. So wouldn't you expect others to think the same way? (I am not bashing my team here... they are amazing... What i am saying is that Good leadership is all about realizing that you have to be clear with what you want.) My dog knows a couple words... Outside... that one we are still working on... Potty... I think? Sit... kinda (we have only had her four days)

She has learned them because we constantly say them and when she performs well then we give her a treat or affirmation. How is that not like people? Everyone needs to hear things again and again and then get praised. Affirmation begets correct behavior!

The old school kind of discipline for dogs is... roll a newspaper up and beat the tar out of the dog until it is so afraid it doesn't repeat the behavior. As I was Reading in my Training beagles book they said that negative attention is the same in the dogs head as positive attention... So the magazine i used on my first dog 20 years ago really feed the dog fear and mistrust of me. How amazing is that like the new leader. They need to be encouraged on good behavior and spend more time on the good and less time addressing the bad.

Bad behavior has to be addressed but it cant be addressed with the same or more potency as positive behavior.

Now i wonder if this is the same with a kid? I grew up with the spare the rode spoil the child concept... My but still burns some days from my upbringing... But what if we tried this model of behavioral training on kids? but i am not going to use treats because i don't want my kid to get fat and associate food with good behavior. TO many of us already associate the two. So what can i use to encourage the kid? Praise? Toys? Adventure?

I have 20 more weeks to figure that out and until then... Daisy! Good Girl!

The Myth

Hey I had an idea not long ago… I was wanting to hold on to it in case we got ambitious but thought this might be fun to share.

What about doing church at the Myth night club http://www.mythnightclub.com ?

I think it could be awesome they have private VIP rooms I was thinking could work for kids… and the sound… WOW! Lights anyone? Built in! all you need is chairs.

There is no one using it on Sunday mornings and people city wide know where it is.  (Church at the Myth)

Just a thought...

Weekend Update

What an amazing weekend! Seriously, I wish sometimes i wasn't the pastor and could just go to the church as a partner. We had an awesome worship set... The New bassist had a Mohawk! i love it!... Then the church gave its largest offering to date! It wasn't like two people gave huge checks no it was everyone giving to God and It was Awesome. I am so excited to cute our missions check at the end of the month! (we give 10% of every offering to missions.)

Then we had Matt share a testimony of how God transformed him and took away his depression and his anger! He said... When I was angry all the time my kid would act up all the time and my wife was never really happy with me. Now that I gave control to God... I am happier, my wife is happier with me and my kid doesn't act up as much. (Did you read that right? because you are not on your feet as you are reading this. His kid is more well behaved because He gave his heart to God and God took away his anger.) I should write a book. Want to have well behaved kids? give control to God and they will fallow!

Now I want to be very clear hear. I know that I am not Gods gift to public speaking. I am not the worst but I am no Andy Stanley or Borack Obama. But at the end of service... The crowed clapped. It was a spontaneous not coached ovation.

That doesn't happen in church! Shows, movies, concerts, but church? nope it doesn't happen... But it did Sunday and i think it happened just because people were so pumped up with the day and the energy in the room. After the final count we had 150 people at High Point! Wow we have only hit that number a handful of times and each time we do it feels good.

I love my church! It is true! It is just an awesome place to be apart.

My new joy

She is 13 weeks old and probably the craziest decision E and I have ever made. We got an email showing that a beagle puppy needed a home and I remembered that E was talking about how much she liked beagle puppies. So we hoped in the car right then and there and drove up to get her. For the numbers people out there. we got her and all her gear including a nice cage for half the price she cost.

Not bad for a half price mans best friend. She is fitting in nicely. I am so glade we did it. The house was getting lonely without Tiffy our late great 16 year old pup.

Baby on Board

Monday of this week we saw our child for the first time. The first picture was taken before i was told not to take pictures of the equipment. Since it was pre law it was grandfathered in. It is like Adam and eve before the tree of knowledge. I was naked and unashamed. Not literally.

Elizabeth is finally feeling better. Pregnancy is not something to be entered into flippantly. It is really intense. But it has given us a closer bond that I didn't think was possible. We have the church that we co-lead. We have the house and family and friends. This takes things to a whole new level. We now have something that is apart of us that we share. Think about it. This is apart of me and her and no matter what we always have that. What a bonding moment. What a priceless thing.

I already am in love with my daughter to be. The paternal survival instincts are starting to kick in. The other Day E and I were out to lunch and a guy walked out of the bathroom cursing and looking violent... I found myself instantly on edge. Hands went up into the wrestling pron position and my eyes focused... I was ready to throw down. He was just crazy and in the 30 seconds all that happened in he was gone. So all i am saying is I am ready. I have been mentally practicing lifting cars and things just in case I have to. I am ready to save my wife and baby... Don't Mess!

Weekend Update

Just thinking about adding this so I thought I would add it this week.

• We saw a 30% increase from last Easter
• 132 people attended
• I counted five people raise there hands signaling a commitment to Christ
• giving was around 1800

I was looking at our trends from last year and we are growing. We count people because people matter to God. We also count because it is one way we can asses the churches performance. It is not the only way but it is a good way to take an overall evaluation. Healthy organisms Grow. Sick organisms wither and die. High Point is healthy.